We all know what joy feels like. There are many times in life when we experience joy in relationships. The initial joy is what I like to call the “Butterfly” feeling. That is when your stomach gets in knots just at the thought of the person you are in relationship with. We anticipate the time we will get to spend with them and dream about what our relationship will become over time. If we meet a potential mate we anticipate what it would be like to build a future together. If we start a new job we anticipate building great relationships with our coworkers. When we have children we anticipate the joy that will come when we spend time with them as they are growing up. At first this emotion of joy seems complete and we can’t imagine anything ever taking it away. But as we all know, oftentimes that joy is short lived, as the reality of life sets in. The joy doesn’t go away completely but it definitely fades from its original intensity.
In a relationship with a significant other the things we found intriguing and cute in the beginning usually end up driving us crazy the more we spend time with that person. When the rose colored glasses come off we begin to get annoyed at them and begin to draw back with our emotion of joy. This is very natural and it happens to all of us in every relationship we have. From relationships with our parents, coworkers, kids, spouses, etc., every person experiences different phases of joy. There is a reason for this and if we can understand it, we will be able to experience true inner joy, in all of our relationships, even the difficult ones.
Let me explain something about joy. The emotion of joy can cease at any moment, like the times in life when we get bad news or someone hurts our feelings. We have all experienced this. Our emotions are God given and we experience different emotions at different times. But what I want you to understand is that we are the ones who waver and change, and we replace our emotion of joy with an emotion of despair, based on our circumstances. This joy is the emotion of joy that comes from our soul man. But there is another joy that we have access to as Christians that does not change in the midst of relationship difficulties, and that joy is the joy that comes from our spirit man. The Spirit of God does not change based on our circumstances in life! God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. When we have a Spirit controlled temperament our joy cannot be taken away no matter what difficulties we face in life. Now here is the difference!
Galatians 5 says that joy is a fruit of the Spirit and the only way to experience lasting joy in all of our relationships, from the good ones to the bad ones, is to have our joy coming from our spirit man and not our soul. One of the most important things for a believer to understand is that the fruit of the Spirit is not an emotion for us to muster up and control. It is in the giving up control to the Spirit of God where we will see the fruit of joy operating in our lives on a consistent basis.
God’s promise of joy as a fruit of the Spirit does not wane and His joy is everlasting and constant, even in the midst of our relationship difficulties! In fact, we have a promise from God in Psalm 94:18, 19 that says, “When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” NIV The Lord consoles us in our times of grief and trouble and that consolation is meant to bring joy to our souls; but only if we hold onto the promise of joy as a fruit of the Spirit and not just as an emotion of the soul. When we have the fruit of the Spirit operating in our lives, our circumstances and relationship problems won’t overwhelm us to the point where we lose our faith or our identity in the process of experiencing a relational problem.
When we become more intimately acquainted with God on a personal level we will begin to understand the difference between the fruit of the Spirit and the emotions of the soul. This insight will take us to a new level of understanding God’s character and His Word. We also have to remember John 15:16 when Jesus says, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.” NKJV and in the NIV it says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.”
Here is the choice the believer has to make. Who are we going to give the control of our lives to? Are we going to give over control to our soul and be tossed back and forth in our emotions depending on what we experience? Or are we going to give over the control of our emotions to the Holy Spirit and experience the fruit of joy that will last as Jesus promised? Today the choice is ours. I want to encourage you to seek wisdom and understanding in this area. If you do, you will be blessed. Let me leave you with this passage.
Proverbs 3:13 – 26:
Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding; For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, And her gain than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her. Length of days is in her right hand, In her left hand riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, And all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, And happy are all who retain her. The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; By understanding He established the heavens; By His knowledge the depths were broken up, And clouds drop down the dew. My son, let them not depart from your eyes— Keep sound wisdom and discretion; So they will be life to your soul And grace to your neck. Then you will walk safely in your way, And your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; For the LORD will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
No God, No Peace! KNOW GOD, KNOW PEACE!
In order to have rock solid relationships with people it is important to have a rock solid relationship with God through our relationship with Jesus. Many people try to build relationships on their own and they end up consciously or unconsciously sabotaging them every time. It is humanly impossible to be at peace in our relationships without God. We can try as hard as we want but ultimately we will end up disheartened, discouraged, and damaged, if we do not look to Jesus as our peace, in our relationships.
I spent many years trying to live right, be right, and speak right, in my relationships. There were days I would succeed and days I would fail. My success came on days I allowed myself to be controlled by the Holy Spirit and allowed the peace of Christ to reign in my heart. On those days I felt a true sense of accomplishment. All of my interactions with people were peaceful. When I would go to bed I was filled with peace and my mind was clear.
I have discovered that on the days when I failed, I was in control. My thoughts, words, and actions, came from within me and I wasn’t giving the control of my thoughts, words, and actions, over to God, to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. I was living in my own strength and depending on my limited knowledge and understanding of relationships to direct my steps. On those days I found myself feeling weak and inadequate. My mind would be full of suspicion, while my spirit was anxious and in unrest. I couldn’t shake negative thoughts and I had a hard time putting sentences together that made sense. I would go to bed agitated and angry at someone who had offended me during the day and frustrated with God for not intervening on my behalf.
One day when I was reading the Bible I read Romans 5:1 which says, “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I then started to pray about this verse and realized that Christ is our peace, and that in order to have peace, not only with God, but also with man, it has to come from our relationship with Christ. I remembered the armor of God and especially Ephesians 6:15, “And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;” It was my responsibility to have my feet planted firm and fitted in the Gospel of peace and the Gospel of peace is Jesus Christ. Every promise of God has a condition. This is not a works condition in order to gain God’s approval, but rather a condition of the heart and mind that makes Jesus the Lord of every area of our lives. So in order to have peace in our relationships with people, on a consistent basis, we have to make sure our relationship with Christ is consistent and rock solid.
In Matthew 7:24, 25 Jesus says, “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.” We will always face storms in our relationships but if Christ is the center of them, we will be intact during and after the storms. We will also have peace in the assurance of knowing that sometimes He will calm the storm and at other times He will calm us in the midst of the storm.
I want to encourage you to look up the Scriptures that talk about peace.
Here are some Scriptures that I studied in this process:
Isaiah 9:6 - Jesus is our Prince of peace.
John 14:27 - Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Isaiah 48:17, 18 - Heed His commandments and your peace will be like a river.
Isaiah 48:22 - There is no peace for the wicked.
Isaiah 32:17,18 - The work of doing what is right will be peace.
Psalm 85:8 -10 - The Lord will speak peace to His people, but let them not turn back to folly.
Isaiah 26:3, 4 - You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts You.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 - God's thoughts toward you are thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Luke 2:13, 14 - God's purpose is for peace on earth and goodwill toward men.
Philippians 4:6, 7 - Let your requests be made known to God, and His peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds.
Romans 5:1 - Our peace with God is through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 2:14, 17 - Jesus is our peace. Apart from Him, we do not have His peace.
1 Thessalonians 5:23 – The God of peace sanctifies you completely.
John 16: 33 – In Christ we have peace.
As you can see Christ is our peace. Again, if we want to have rock solid relationships with people, we must first build a rock solid relationship with God through our relationship with Christ. I am not talking about religion here. I am talking about a relationship and through that relationship you will have the peace of Christ reigning in your heart and being reflected in your relationships with people, no matter how a relationship takes shape or how it might end.
To be continued……………………………
I spent many years trying to live right, be right, and speak right, in my relationships. There were days I would succeed and days I would fail. My success came on days I allowed myself to be controlled by the Holy Spirit and allowed the peace of Christ to reign in my heart. On those days I felt a true sense of accomplishment. All of my interactions with people were peaceful. When I would go to bed I was filled with peace and my mind was clear.
I have discovered that on the days when I failed, I was in control. My thoughts, words, and actions, came from within me and I wasn’t giving the control of my thoughts, words, and actions, over to God, to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. I was living in my own strength and depending on my limited knowledge and understanding of relationships to direct my steps. On those days I found myself feeling weak and inadequate. My mind would be full of suspicion, while my spirit was anxious and in unrest. I couldn’t shake negative thoughts and I had a hard time putting sentences together that made sense. I would go to bed agitated and angry at someone who had offended me during the day and frustrated with God for not intervening on my behalf.
One day when I was reading the Bible I read Romans 5:1 which says, “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” I then started to pray about this verse and realized that Christ is our peace, and that in order to have peace, not only with God, but also with man, it has to come from our relationship with Christ. I remembered the armor of God and especially Ephesians 6:15, “And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;” It was my responsibility to have my feet planted firm and fitted in the Gospel of peace and the Gospel of peace is Jesus Christ. Every promise of God has a condition. This is not a works condition in order to gain God’s approval, but rather a condition of the heart and mind that makes Jesus the Lord of every area of our lives. So in order to have peace in our relationships with people, on a consistent basis, we have to make sure our relationship with Christ is consistent and rock solid.
In Matthew 7:24, 25 Jesus says, “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.” We will always face storms in our relationships but if Christ is the center of them, we will be intact during and after the storms. We will also have peace in the assurance of knowing that sometimes He will calm the storm and at other times He will calm us in the midst of the storm.
I want to encourage you to look up the Scriptures that talk about peace.
Here are some Scriptures that I studied in this process:
Isaiah 9:6 - Jesus is our Prince of peace.
John 14:27 - Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Isaiah 48:17, 18 - Heed His commandments and your peace will be like a river.
Isaiah 48:22 - There is no peace for the wicked.
Isaiah 32:17,18 - The work of doing what is right will be peace.
Psalm 85:8 -10 - The Lord will speak peace to His people, but let them not turn back to folly.
Isaiah 26:3, 4 - You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts You.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 - God's thoughts toward you are thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Luke 2:13, 14 - God's purpose is for peace on earth and goodwill toward men.
Philippians 4:6, 7 - Let your requests be made known to God, and His peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds.
Romans 5:1 - Our peace with God is through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 2:14, 17 - Jesus is our peace. Apart from Him, we do not have His peace.
1 Thessalonians 5:23 – The God of peace sanctifies you completely.
John 16: 33 – In Christ we have peace.
As you can see Christ is our peace. Again, if we want to have rock solid relationships with people, we must first build a rock solid relationship with God through our relationship with Christ. I am not talking about religion here. I am talking about a relationship and through that relationship you will have the peace of Christ reigning in your heart and being reflected in your relationships with people, no matter how a relationship takes shape or how it might end.
To be continued……………………………
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
