Dating Series - Part 7

Every day my spam inbox is filled with invitations to join dating sites. They entice you with advertisements revealing gorgeous people and tell you your perfect match is waiting to meet you. There was a time when I was single when my colleagues at work convinced me to give it a try. They said it was a great way to sort through hundreds of potential mate candidates in hopes of finding my “Mr. Right”. As we set up my profile and uploaded my pictures I must admit I was excited! I knew what I was looking for and I was anticipating finding him through the internet super highway of dating.

I couldn’t wait until I had a break at work so I could check my email to see who was looking at my profile. Day after day I had invitations from men telling me they loved my profile and they wanted to get to know me better. I hadn’t had this much attention in my entire life and it felt good to be wanted. As I began to respond to some of the men I soon discovered that most of them did not have pure intentions in making contact with me. I was in shock when I read some of the requests for provocative pictures or invitations to chat on line or by web cam. Whenever I would respond and tell them I wasn’t interested in doing these things they quickly deleted me from their connections list.

Time and time again I found myself shaking my head in disbelief, wondering where these men got the notion that women were so easy. Then one day I met a man, not online, who filled me in on the reality of internet dating and the sad truth that much of it is just a way for men and women to fill their sexual desires in the disguise of looking for a true “soul mate”. Call me naïve but I really had no clue! I began to ask other men and women in my life about this and they confirmed what this man had told me.

Even though I was aware of this reality I kept my profile up just in case they were wrong. And then one day I opened my email and found a guy who sparked my interest because he didn’t respond like the previous men. After a few email exchanges I felt comfortable meeting him in person, in a public setting of course, and with people I knew with me. When we met I was delighted to find that we held many of the same values and interests. He was polite and never tried to make an advance towards me. In my mind I was thinking, “Now this guy is a great catch.” We had a wonderful time! Over the next couple of days we exchanged emails and talked on the phone a couple of times but something inside told me he wasn’t the one. I sent him an email and told him I didn’t think it was going to work out and I wished him well.

I continued to get emails soliciting me to enter into scenarios that made me feel quite uncomfortable and on Christmas Eve that year I made a decision to remove my profile from those sites. I’m sure internet dating works for some but it wasn’t an avenue I wanted to take any longer. I had a talk with God and told Him I really didn’t enjoy being single but I was not willing to lower my standards out of desperation. It felt so good to press the delete button even though I wasn’t sure how I was going to find “Mr. Right” now because raising 3 kids and working full time didn’t give me the time freedom to search for a mate in the conventional way. But I knew I was making the right decision.

As I sat there and thought about this for a few minutes I felt a peace come over me and I let go of my concerns. I decided to take my thoughts captive and focus my energy on celebrating Christmas with my friends and family. I went over to a friend’s house that night and he told me he was proud of me and that I had made the right choice. I thought it was funny coming from him because he was a serial internet dating guy who was constantly online looking for his “soul mate”. But I received his words of encouragement and left his house feeling comfortable with my decision. In the car on my way to a relative’s house I told God that I was going to trust Him to bring the man He had for me and that I wouldn’t keep trying to force it to happen.

Christmas day came and went and I was filled with a joy and peace I can’t even put into words. On the 27th my friend flew in to town and we went out to sing karaoke that night. I had no expectations for the night and was just anticipating a fun filled evening with friends. As we entered the restaurant my eyes caught sight of the most beautiful man I have ever seen and in fact he was the exact image of the man I had dreamt of when I was young. I grabbed my friend’s arm and told her he was the one. Of course she thought I was crazy but something inside of me knew that God had answered my prayer and this man was in fact the man I had been looking for my entire life.

I can’t go into the details of what happened next as it would take way too long to explain. I will write that blog at another time, as it is definitely worth reading, but for now I want you to know that I ended up marrying the man I met that night. He wasn’t my “soul mate”, he was my “God mate”! And believe me there is a difference which I will also explain in another blog.

For now what I want you to know is that God has already prepared a mate for you and if you truly want to find the one who He knows will complete you and be a compliment to your life, quit trying to force it to happen! As I have said in past blogs take this time being single to become intimate with God and His desires for you and spend time deciding what you really want out of life and in a mate. Believe me it is way more exciting when God brings them into your life supernaturally than anything you could ever create in your own power naturally!

This Christmas give yourself the gift of time! Don’t sell yourself short and don’t give yourself to people who truly do not deserve to be a part of your life! And if you find yourself being asked to lower your standards in order to get to the next level in a relationship, press delete and move on! People will treat you the way you teach them that you deserve to be treated. God has put a very high value on your life and it is time for you to accept it and to quit selling yourself on the clearance rack of life!