As a child I didn't like boundaries. Boundaries to me were limits put on me to keep me from fun, excitement, discovery, and freedom. I thought that my parents, teachers, church, and adults in my life, were holding something from me. I somehow thought they knew something that I didn't and in their cruelty they wanted to keep me from it. For years I fought whenever a boundary was put into place. If a line was drawn, I crossed it! If a door was shut, I opened it. If I was told no, I fought until the answer was yes.
When I got my way I discovered that the thrill of victory was not so sweet. In fact, many times I discovered that the knowledge I gained from crossing over the boundary was a bitter reality that left me feeling lack more than feeling fulfilled! Being young and naive I didn't have the reasoning skills to understand what was taking place, and so I continued to cross every boundary in my life. As an adult I have looked back on my life and figured out where some of my rebellion came from and why I had false beliefs when it came to boundaries.
I was raised in a religion that had strict boundaries and many laws of Holiness that people had to follow in order to be in right standing with God. The sad thing was that I observed many of these people’s lives and found them to be as unhappy, if not more unhappy, than the so called heathens they spoke of. I couldn’t understand how people living outside of God’s boundaries and breaking the religious codes of conduct could be apparently more content, than those who stayed within the boundaries. So to say that I had a lot of confusion when it came to boundaries is an understatement! If God wanted me to live inside of the boundaries of His Word then why were His people so miserable living within them? And if living outside of them was so bad, then why were so many “heathens” apparently happy and prosperous in their unhealthy lifestyles?
Well, instead of seeking wisdom and understanding about this, I decided to keep breaking through the boundaries and here’s why. Even though I loved the people I went to church with, the so called heathens seemed to be more accepting of me than the Christians at the time. When I screwed up in life I was judged for my actions by the church and persecuted for opposing God. But when I screwed up in the world, the so called “heathens” still accepted me and loved me no matter what. They didn’t judge me, even if they didn’t like what I had done. In fact many times they embraced me.
So the confusion of living within boundaries became even more perplexing as time went on. I found myself becoming increasingly angry but didn’t know why. I started to turn my anger towards God as I saw Him as the unrealistic boundary setter and the cause of my pain whenever I got hurt from crossing one. Then at 15 I was so frustrated that I said, “God, if you are anything like your people, I want nothing to do with you.” I had a skewed view of God that left me feeling lonely and in a mental state of hopelessness.
For the next several years I lived outside of the boundaries in every area of my life. I alienated people who lived within them and turned my back on God and his people. When I came to the end of myself and finally had a “Come to Jesus” moment one day, my life changed completely. I had a wrestling match with God and I told Him of my disappointment and frustration. When I was done I felt a peace come over me that I can’t explain. Somehow I knew that my relationship with God would never be the same.
Over the next several years I began to discover the truth about God, not from man, but from opening the Word and studying. I spent a lot of time in prayer asking God to make sense of my confusion. He was faithful and answered my prayers. In the area of boundaries, here is what I discovered in my study time that changed my life.
God has set boundaries in place to protect us not to punish us or keep us from fun and excitement. And when we cross a boundary God doesn’t look down at us and frown. He doesn’t condemn us and separate himself from us either. If we have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ God sees us through the blood of Christ, Holy and blameless in His sight no matter what we do. If He saw us any other way He would be a liar because He says that through Christ we have we have been made righteous. Being made righteous means we have right standing with God no matter what.
So if God doesn’t sit and judge us for crossing boundaries what’s wrong with crossing them? The answer can be found in 1 Corinthians 6:12 where Paul writes, “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” Christ was the only man who could keep the Laws of God and when He died on the Cross He fulfilled the Law. At that moment our relationship with God was no longer dependent on us keeping the Laws of God. Our relationship with God became dependent on us accepting Christ as our Savior and allowing Him to live through us.
A whole new covenant relationship was birthed that day between God and His people. This changed everything! Paul understood this and if you read his writings you will discover the depth of his understanding for yourself. One definition of expedient is: useful, or effecting a desired result. Only God knows the desires of our hearts so He knows what will lead us to them or away from them. With this knowledge He sets boundaries in place to keep us from walking off the path that leads to those desires. If we stay within the boundaries we will end up at our desired destination but if we don’t, we will destroy the path or destroy ourselves along the way.
As a parent sets a boundary out of love for their child, so God sets boundaries for us out of love. If you can begin to view boundaries in this way you will find yourself wanting to stay within them instead of wanting to cross them. You will begin to see living within the boundaries of God as a blessing instead of a curse. You will find yourself embracing the them instead of trying to fight your way out of them. And the only way to live within the boundaries of God is through your relationship with Jesus Christ. You cannot do it on your own and if you try, you will find yourself angry and frustrated just like I did when I was a child.
Before I continue it is important to read John 15:3-5 which says, “You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
To be continued…………………………
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